Healing a Broken Marriage: Yes, It's Possible!

Understanding a Broken Marriage

Short answer: YES, a broken marriage can be healed. The bigger question is HOW.

What do we mean by a "broken" marriage? One definition includes spouses drifting apart. How many times have we heard someone say, “We just drifted apart”? Reflect on this. If either spouse feels this way, weren’t there warning signs? The answer is YES. Drifting takes time. It might start with a lack of time spent together.

Consider this scenario: the focus may have solely shifted to the kids. Now that they have left the nest, the couple finds themselves in a void. At some point, the couple allowed their marriage to take a backseat. Everything else became more important—work commitments, children’s needs, and various hobbies. However, the marriage relationship should be prioritized just below one other thing: God.

The Consequences of Drifting Apart

It is sad to witness couples reaching a point where one or both decide it’s just not worth the effort anymore. Really? Instead of looking back to how things once were and asking, “How can we get back there?”, they become too willing to give up.

I have firsthand experience with the hurt that comes from divorce. It's far greater than the effort required to mend a relationship. Help is available, and you don’t have to go through this alone. I can assure you there will be regrets if you do not fight for your marriage. I failed once, and I am still suffering the consequences of that failure.

Addressing the Deeper Issues

What other factors define a "broken marriage"? A significant one is sin. This often includes issues related to infidelity, which could range from inappropriate relationships with the opposite sex to physical adultery. In the Bible, Jesus addresses this in Matthew 5:27-28, stating,

"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

But does this type of sin have to end a marriage? NO. The road to forgiveness and eventual reconciliation is challenging and requires the power of God through the Holy Spirit. I have witnessed marriage restoration miracles during my twelve years in marriage ministry.

The Path to Redemption

Restoration is only possible if both spouses genuinely seek it. The guilty party must be ready to confess their sin first to God and then to their spouse. This confession must be sincere. Both partners must be fully committed to the idea of saving their marriage.

The spouse who feels wronged must also consider the value of the relationship. They should reflect on whether they contributed to the situation, even if just slightly. Success rates improve significantly when couples work with a coach or therapist. Individual counseling may be beneficial before both can come together to mend their relationship.

Rebuilding trust is not quick; it demands time and persistent effort.

Domestic Abuse: A Complex Issue

Let's discuss another serious issue: domestic abuse. This goes beyond physical violence; it encompasses verbal, emotional, financial, and even digital abuse. Abuse is often a blend of these forms. God does not condone any kind of abuse.

Statistically, 80% of abusers are men, although women can also be abusers. Domestic abuse represents an exertion of power and control over another individual. Can a marriage be redeemed after such abuse? Yes, but it requires not just commitment but also significant effort from both parties.

The abuser must engage in intensive therapy and be open to sharing treatment details with the victim. The victim also needs support through therapy. This journey is tough, but if both individuals are committed to change—and dependent on God’s guidance—it can lead to healing.

The Importance of Commitment

In summary, every broken marriage can be healed. However, healing requires commitment from both spouses to acknowledge their sins and their roles in the relationship's difficulties. The willingness to take necessary steps to redeem and restore the marriage is crucial.

Remember: with man, things may seem impossible, but with God, all things are possible.

Seeking Help and Support

If you find yourself struggling to repair a broken marriage, I (or I and my wife) would love to offer our coaching services. Call us at 972-463-1937 or email me at ken@lkrchristianlifecoaching.com.

For those in domestic abuse situations, please reach out to the domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 (24/7). If you are in the North Texas area, you can also contact Sisters of Grace Ministry at www.sistersofgraceministry.com or call 469-677-8568 (not 24/7). If you are in immediate danger, please call 911.