Preparing to become empty nesters

God designed marriage.  Genesis 2:24 tells us that in marriage, “a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” By His design, we are to prioritize Him above all things and all people (see the first of the Ten Commandments).  Next should be your spouse, followed by your children, then your job, then everything else.  The problem is most of us get things mixed up.

Many, if not the majority of couples find themselves focused primarily on their children.  Perhaps they do give God the primary spot, but the children fall close behind.  It is so very easy to do.  After all, when they are very young, they are totally dependent on you as a parent.  As they grow, you know that taking care of their needs, educating them, providing for them, and sooner rather than later, running them to their band practice or soccer practice and games is important, and so on.  All during this time, special and focused time with your spouse is pushed aside.

Suddenly, or so it seems when looking back, our children are growing up and leaving home for school or a job, and the house becomes empty except for one another.  Without the children to focus and devote all your time to, there is a hole in your life.  Unfortunately, since it is common to have placed the relationship with your spouse on hold for these many years, it can feel like you are stuck living with a stranger.  The truth is that this is a prime opportunity for Satan to start weaving the notion that living with this spouse of perhaps twenty or more years no longer meets your needs and divorce becomes an option in your mind.  Unless you, as a couple, have prepared in advance, Satan might have his way.  What can you do?

The answer lies in preparation.  Before you become empty nesters, time and effort should be taken to reestablish your relationship.  Invest time in whatever marriage ministry you may find in your church or community.  Make sure it is based on the elements of a biblical marriage.  Be willing to reflect and admit that your priorities were misplaced for so long that your spouse became an afterthought and begin to rebuild that relationship. You married your spouse for good reasons long ago.  Your spouse can be so much more than simply a roommate.  Remember, God says you have become as “one flesh.”  Rediscover the love you had in your earlier days and build your marriage to last for the rest of your lives.

Another option to help find that lost love, is a Christian Life Coach.  They can help you discover what seems to be lost.  We would be glad to help.  We work virtually, so it doesn’t matter where you live, we can meet and start to rekindle that special relationship that is buried within each of you. Check us out at www.LKRChristianLifeCoaching.com, and give us a call.